the time for games is over . disorders … activate

i don’t get disappointed anymore, I just be like aw again? ok lol

My toxic trait is thinking that staying busy is gonna cure my depression

might fuck around and walk into a thick fog and never return idk

sometimes the fact that people actually have a strong will to live is just so shocking to me

most accurate representation of how my existence feels like on a daily basis lmaoo i feel like a god rn

before posting about drugs online, consider the following

• am i speaking from experience or from stuff i was told in anti-drug programs/messaging? what messaging have i unconsciously absorbed about drug use?
• have i fact checked this information or am i assuming it's correct because it "seems true" to me?
• what practical effect does this position have? does it increase stigma against drug users, imply they are "like children" or incapable of making their own decisions, or treat them as a class of "crazy ppl" that i can mock at will (ex. calling ppl "crackhead")?
• is this stance based on compassion or fear? reaction or response? concern or condescension?
• am i minding my own business? do i think i have the right to judge other people's behavior as healthy or unhealthy against their will?
• do i think i'm better (healthier, smarter, saner, cleaner, etc) than someone else solely because they do more or different drugs than me?
• am i treating drug use the same way i would treat other potentially harmful behaviors, or am i assigning it a special level of fear/disgust/concern because it's heroin/meth/whatever substance is particularly fear-mongered about?

I wish I could look at myself in the mirror without being disgusted at what I see. I can tell my friends to be strong and to love themselves but I can't do it myself. I feel worthless. Like I don't deserve to be loved.

having trauma feels so cringe sometimes like ohhhh look at me look at me my mom was mean when I was little and it's going to continue to affect me and all my relationships for the rest of my life. I'm gonna be sick

I wish I could be good enough for once in my life

I've reached the point of not even being able to put into words how miserable I am

enough healing i need to kill