i was so excited and happy this morning i wanted to run down the street and do??something?

i have been missing my classes bc I can’t get my mind to sit or focus (one reason you might say could be bc i haven’t slept for 3 days but i have HELL lot of energy and i don’t feel like sleeping AT. ALL.) I am trying to care about classes but I totally forget that i have to … attend classes ykk???

and the hypersexuality is on the peak, i feel disgusted by myself but I can not stop being hypersexual - i don’t think it’s a thing i can control (like most of the other stuff that comes with this disorder). the thing is, i probably won’t have sex with strangers (even though I Really feel like) bc just the mere thought of myself being naked and doing it with someone turns me off 💀

SO ??? WHY??? CANT I NOT BE HYPERSEXUAL????? LIKE WHATS THE FUCKING POINT

last 4-5 days I have been doing things - but i can’t remember Anything, it’s so weird i don’t even know how to explain it.

anyway i am about to take the 3rd bath of the day right now and see if I can sleep (or eat).

Mania is the kinda ride where you’re like “ i can’t wait to get on it (when you’re depressed) but as soon as you are infact, on the ride you’re like GET. ME. OFF. RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW.

My mom will be home tomorrow, i am thinking if I went out with her I’d probably be in the hospital with her as well so it’s a good thing she didn’t waited for me but i really wanted some alcohol :/ next time i guess

my mom can finally come home tomorrow 🙃