where does it end

dying at people being outraged like "will should have his award revoked" "how can he do something so violent and outrageous!!" "this is a win to toxic masculinity" lmfaoooo it's a bitch slap y'all so sensitive and the asshole deserved it. if more assholes got bitch slapped when they humiliate women in front of millions of people maybe the world would be a better place.

wait does this explain Cassie’s case in Euphoria???? it makes so much sense i always thought she was coping from the all the pain she’s been thru (like yeah it’s still coping) i didn’t know it had a term

People with paraphilias deserve love

People with narcissistic personality disorder deserve love

People with antisocial personality disorder deserve love

People with borderline personality deserve love

People with histrionic personality disorder deserve love

People with bipolar disorder deserve love

People with obsessive compulsive disorder deserve love

People with dissociative identity disorder deserve love

People with schizophrenia deserve love

People who lack certain, or all, sorts of empathy deserve love

People with any sort of disorder deserve love

Your disorder(s) don’t make you unloveable. The symptoms of your disorder(s) don’t make you unloveable. These disorder(s) don’t make you a monster.

And fuck anyone that uses terms like “narc abuse” or who says that because of your disorder(s) you must be a horrible abusive person.

As long as you’re looking/waiting for someone to save you, you’re open to being exploited by someone who can pretend to save you. Abusive people love playing the role of the “rescuer”, to then rip the rug of your very security out from under you. It’s a power rush for them.

I made a meme

If your parent is a covert narcissist, then most of the usual narcissistic parent information won’t ring as true, and instead you’ll be in a situation where you feel great worry, concern, protectiveness, desire to care for, desire to rescue, feeling responsible for, and longing to be acknowledged and loved by your parent.

Your parent was always the ‘weak one’, and you were the one who was strong, and there to protect them. There was a neverending stream of afflictions plaguing your parent – they struggled with the child care, they had a tough time being married to the other parent, they were sick, they were bullied by the other family members/people at work, they had too much housework to do, or the housework too hard and they were too weak to handle it, they worried about the future, they didn’t know what to do or how to go about life, they lacked support, nobody took care of them, nobody gave them affection. And you wanted to rescue them so badly. You were there for everything, if something needed to get done, you tried your best to do it in order to spare your parent the extra worry and work, you anxiously tried to help them as they were sick, you stood up for them when they were bullied, you reassured them and tried to take as much stress as possible on yourself, only so they would have to do less.

It never worked. Regardless of how much housework you did, or how hard you tried to ease the tensions or make sure they have the peace and care to get better, they would never be quite okay. And it always felt like you were so close to getting your parent to a place where they’d be fine, and then, they would finally have space in their life to love you. Because, in your head, your parent did love you, only they were always so preoccupied with their own life, they could never relax enough to show it to you. So they never did anything you did for them – they didn’t protect you, or stand up for you when you were bullied/abused, they didn’t nurture you or take care for you when you were sick, they didn’t help with your studying or chores, they didn’t give you their time or affection. And you felt empty, but you understood it was only because they couldn’t, they were never okay enough to do it. You had to be strong enough to handle it all for them.

Sometimes, they’d lash out at you, and say things you were sure they didn’t mean. And you understood even then, they only did it because other people were bullying them, and they had to lash out at someone. Or they didn’t understand it was wrong. Or they didn’t realize it would hurt you because they were used to you being so tough. You still believed that deep inside, they loved you. Hateful words from them hurt you immensely, but you couldn’t find it in your heart to accuse such a troubled and anxious person of being a bad parent, you didn’t even want to think about how badly this would hurt them. Getting angry at them was likewise impossible, because you understood just too well where they were coming from, and you felt so bad and worried for them already, you couldn’t even think about turning against them. You didn’t want them to have to deal with life without you, when it was already so hard for them.

It was next to impossible for you to realize that you were neglected, because you were the one who was supposed to provide care and solutions. You didn’t have love, but in your heart, the love existed, just out of your reach, just a bit more work to get it. And if it never happened, you blamed yourself for not being enough to get it. Abuse from someone who you were so worried and concerned for, doesn’t read as an abuse, but as action from a person in desperation with no other option but to lash out. Your entire experience growing up was the one of ‘unavoidable’ and ‘necessary’ pain. 

If you still care for your parent just the same, the next part will be very difficult to read. But it will also offer some explanation for why you were put thru this.

I’m going to dismantle why this parent is abusive, and the first point is the massive and blatant neglect of the child. This person does not make sure you have a parent at any point of your life, and has left you to fend for yourself. They might start randomly worrying about you in front of the onlookers, when they’re trying to seem as a diligent and responsible parent, but in private, you never had a parent in them. You had a clutch in your heart that drove you to care, to worry, to sacrifice yourself, to make yourself smaller, to take on endless stress, for someone who would never even consider doing it for you. This is a pattern you are likely to repeat in life – worry, care and sacrifice yourself and wait and wait and wait forever to see if you ever deserve someone’s love.

The second thing, and for me, the much worse one, is that the ongoing victimhood status of your parent – is not real. It’s a narcissistic ploy to ensure attention. Every single problem they’re troubled with is usually something they absolutely have power to resolve, if they wanted to, but they played it up instead. They had to make sure people are actively feeling sorry for them, pitying them, never hold them responsible, and give them endless attention and care. If you look back, your problems of not having a reliable parent, being unprotected, neglected, unloved, and likely traumatized by how much of yourself you had to give away, were always more critical than whatever your parent was feeling victimized by. They managed to create an illusion that they’re more vulnerable and weak than an undeveloped child, more trapped and stressed than a child who was constantly forced on a mission to rescue their parent, more helpless and out of options than a child who had no one, nowhere to escape to, nothing they could do to resolve their pain. They had more say, more agency, more power, authority, options, support and influence than you ever did. They used this against you all the time. But nothing would ever be enough for them, because they wanted attention, not solutions, not freedom from their plight.

And the last problem is, that this person is completely void of empathy towards you. Regardless of how much love you gave them, they felt nothing taking their stress and anger out on you. They even made sure that thru all of these moments, you were too deeply indulged in the compassion, pity and guilt you felt towards them, to ever hold them responsible or call them out. What they did wasn’t an accident. Possibly they made sure to trap you, to discourage and sabotage you from getting away from them, to make you believe you couldn’t live without them, or they couldn’t live without you, because your freedom meant nothing to them. You were just the source of attention that was easily attained. Your life, in their eyes, doesn’t matter, except for how it can be of service to them.

These parents want you to always live in guilt for not being able to save them. They want you to feel so much compassion towards them, you end up feeling none for yourself, just as they do. They know exactly where to pull at your heart to have you broken, to make you feel like you’ve done them wrong, hurt them horribly, or abandoned them when you’re all they’ve had. But they will never be able to love you. Their capability of love isn’t there. You deserve that love. You’ve deserved it even before you ever started working for it, sacrificing for it and giving yourself away. You shouldn’t have been worked for it, or put thru trial for it, or guilted for ‘not doing enough’ for it. You were worthy from the start. If your parent had spent one day more preoccupied with you rather than ways of gaining attention, they would have seen you were worth more than all attention in the world. But they didn’t. And they never will.

Your life is worth more than being an emotional punch bag of someone who only sees a way to hurt you worse every time they see you.

reverse hunger games where the rich people fight for our entertainment

AND HE WON. VIOLENCE WORKS!

all i can think about is how much i want to relapse