is it just me or is it really difficult to realise what you’re doing when you’re manic, instead of catching up on the work that got delayed bc of our depressive epsiode, we are literally making plans to end world hunger?? or dismantle government??? it makes me so sad that I can’t choose direction for that energy, I can’t be happily waiting for the next manic epsiode to help me get out of my slump and the most annoying part is people literally wishing they could be manic ???? i would personally smack the next person who says this.

manic episode is NOT fun, I act without thinking, hurt a lot of people, make reckless decisions, constantly aroused (for weeks or months). And the crash is so severe, you ruminate everything you did even if you can’t remember all of it, you fall into a deep pit and eveything that seemed “joyful” or interesting is suddenly bleak & no matter how hard you try, you can not enjoy anything anymore - this goes on for days, then weeks and you don’t realise it’s been months being struck like this.

I wish I could not be bipolar anymore, I wish I could be normal and do well in school or any project I take on, I wish I could maintain relationships and not hurt the other person with my constant inability to switch back and forth from these episodes. I hate bipolar, I hate my brain and myself for this. I wish I was not me.

to all the bipolar girlies out there, hang on the winter is about to end then we can go insane together <3