Me: *goes from happy to sad to numb to angry to sad to happy to feeling everything all at once and then numb again in the span of 10 minutes*

My friends: what

also me : *i have zero idea either*

I‘m at my fucking limit bro

I’m going to explode.

goodnight miserable women filled with rage <3

I was friends with this person for 12 years and today she told me she can't tolerate me anymore, and I wanted to say "me too you ain't special". I'm glad she left - it's not her responsibility to keep up with my shitty mental health. I just wish I had that option too.

it hurt when she said she liked me before I was over-sensitive to my trauma, happy, and a kid. And added, there's no point in supporting me when I'm not trying to get better and clearly do not want to get better and keep failing at every effort I put. A part of me feels extremely guilty for forcing this friendship upon her, a part of me wishes she left earlier so it would hurt less.

I'm highly aware that my sense of humor is broken but I always tried my best to make her laugh, not bother her a lot with my issues, but I guess that was still too much. And I get it, I do not blame her - if I had the chance I'd be the first person to leave me, I'm just surprised that she tolerated me for so long. She's the best thing happened to me ❤️ I love you and thank you keeping me in your life, making memories with me, sharing a part of you with me, I am so glad I was your friend. I hope you find better people in your life, bc you deserve the best.

Aw man, idk how much of a reassurance this is but you have me kk? I'm not good at this but I hope you have an amazing life and reach out if you want to talk to someone. As a person with a lot of ongoing childhood trauma, I can relate how hard it is to make yourself want to live and put effort into anything.

We're here for ya bestie ❤❤❤

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

thank you so much!!! The same goes for you, I’m here whenever you want to talk or vent. I’m sorry to hear about your own struggles, those should never have happened. and as a friend, i got you <33333

I am smart enough to understand concepts but not smart enough to do questions

did you- did you- wHAT

"how are you"

"Good thanks! Well, I'm in constant unending pain but good thanks!"

i’m tired of starting over. i’m tired of meeting people just to find out i’m not enough.

I had to

i love it… it’s a masterpiece.

Bpd convinces you that anything you feel will last forever. What a horrible way to live: feeling like every ache and endless void will last span the rest of your days. That anything you like now carves out an indentation of permanence. That horrible inconsistent people that should be gone are destined to stick around. And of course when they leave, as in their nature, it devastates you to the point you’re barely a human being. Having bpd is like living in a house of warped circus mirrors nonstop. You never know reality and when these sites of permanence come to an end, you try to shatter the glass to finally be free. But it won’t shatter. You can hit the surface until your fist bruises and reddens like patchy sunburn. You can hit until your fist is no more than a mass of blood and bone. All that you’ll do is dirty the mirror with blood which warps it further.

oh fuck i woke up again