do you ever just tell your parents about something that made you really happy and then feel guilty cause of their reaction?

i will literally give up immediately don't fucking test me

“are you okay” mf you’ve seen my blog you tell me

Life is fun until you're not distracted and go back to feeling empty

This list includes signs I exhibited while being abused and afterwards, as well as signs I’ve seen other abused youth display, all of which are less commonly recognized for what they are: red flags in disguise. 

• Being described as a “perfectionist” or having an extremely competitive attitude to the point of experiencing breakdowns if you are not “the best”
• Developing a habit of locking the door to every room you enter, especially when at friends’ houses or your own home, or other places you would be expected to feel safe and welcome at
• Excessive daydreaming or fantasizing which may be accompanied by restlessness, pacing, or listening to music, and will often last for hours at a time, and may interfere with daily functioning
• Experiencing an inability to relate to your peers which may lead to you creating pseudo relationships or obsessions with fictional characters to replace your lack of social interaction
  
• Refusing to look at yourself in mirrors in public, especially when buying new clothes or going into fitting rooms
• Showering in the dark because you are ashamed of your body
• Experiencing intense feelings of guilt when someone does something nice for you
• Hyperfixation on a hobby such as drawing or writing, which is often used as an outlet and a way to escape the abuse
• Purposely making yourself appear unattractive 
• Being known as the shy or obedient child who never acts out
• Possessing an unnatural amount of maturity for your age which many adults may have praised you for
• Not knowing how to live, having an “I can survive with the bare minimums” mentality
• Hoarding food or other objects in your room such as toiletries so you do not have to leave your room. This may be as severe as going to the bathroom in bottles or cans, or having months worth of dishes piled up around your room 
• Having an anxiety attack if you’re woken up abruptly or if you wake up to loud noises in your house
• Never experiencing sexual interest in others, never going through a “boy phase” or a “girl phase”; alternatively, being hypersexual 
• Intrusive violent thoughts about small animals or children
• Having no sense of belonging since you were a toddler, never feeling connected to your childhood town or house, and feeling alienated among your family members

Feel free to add more to this list. If you or someone else has experienced at least half of these signs, it’s very likely you or them has been through some form of abuse.

childhood trauma is so weird because you grow up to find out that stuff that happened wasn’t okay and suddenly memories come back and you realize how it really messed you up on the inside

i hate how much i’ve shared with people. i want to take everything back

Sometimes, when we’re very small, we can feel like we’re not human, because we’re treated as not-human. It’s more natural to us to conclude that we must be what others are perceiving us like, and treating us like. So rather than to doubt everyone else, we doubt ourselves. We believe others seeing us, and treating us like some sort of a burden, monster, or a disease, makes us into one. But it doesn’t. It implicates their horrible treatment of a child, not our nature. None of us was anything bad as a child, just as we’re not anything bad right now. You were a nothing but a human child. There was never anything disgusting, monstrous or horrible about you.

The other week, I tried to subtly tell my friend what was going on at home because I thought I could trust them enough. But then they were like "but hitting kids is kind of normal in Asian culture isn't it?" and "if my parents were abusive, I wouldn't tell on them".

Now I don't know what to think. Am I making it up? Is it a normal thing and I'm being ungrateful? What if I'm just lying to myself?

I hate my life. I hate myself.

Stop👏 Defining 👏Abuse👏As👏Culture👏

i swear to god, I wouldn’t have realised I was abused if not for the internet, I wouldn’t have realised that what I was experiencing was Childhood Trauma, all along I thought this is how parents are, this is normal, this is how they keep discipline. This ain’t normal, this permanently damages the kid, this ain’t culture. This is straight up abuse of minors, kids who are dependent On you By you

I need vitamin D(eath)

call me selfish but I'd like to be happy for more than 5 minutes at a time

Are you trying to revise for a test?

Do you have ADHD and procrastinates revision?

Do you also maladaptive daydream your way into a fantasy world frequently?

Great news! I've found a method that works pretty efficiently - at least for me - around this issue.

Hear me out: memory palaces.

Look, I know that technique probably sounds like something pretentious from Sherlock, which it is, but it actually works great. Especially when you malaptive daydream and procrastinates everything, so last minute revisions WILL work for this.

Take a place/setting that you daydream frequently about. Mine's a fantasy world I've been building for ages, but anywhere will do. Then take the info you need to revise and turn it into an object/landmark in that place.

For example, in my case, I turned the cell structures I was revising into magical fruits, however weird that sounds. I turned the old-ass scientists into talking portraits that yells out their names and what they did obnoxiously every time I walk past them.

Keep on doing this for everything you need to remember.

So whenever you zone out and daydream, you see these objects and landmarks and remembers them.

If the revision's last minute, just play out the place in your mind constantly so that you get all the info.

What do you mean you don't have conversations playing in the back of your head with characters that you made up and it doesn't interfere with your daily responsibilities and there's no way to shut them up? Unbelievable.