i wish i could be independently mature and competent. i feel so embarrassed and ashamed that im at my current age and i still feel nowhere near that point. there are people (the vast majority of them in fact) who are far younger than me and way more independent and successful and accomplished.

im so defective. im so embarrassing. im such a failure.

and i . don’t see how i can make myself better . it’s just something im not able to do

…. can my miserable embarrassment excuse of a life end already

whatever you expect of me.. unexpect it

Can I not go back to the time you wanted me?

If I had the slightest discipline in me I’d be unstoppable

All these mechanisms and none of them are coping

i wake up and immediately physically assault my brain with my phone

I can’t do this anymore, I’m not strong enough for this life.

oh so now I’m “gay” just because I have a lot of gay thoughts and gay feelings?

me when i was straight in 7th grade

i’m chilling but i’m going to freak out

shall I make a playlist for you?

me trying to flirt

handwriting samples of various mass killers/serial killers.