You could argue that all people have good parts and bad parts of childhood. And that much is true.

But your bad parts should be like, sometimes feeling you fucked up, or sometimes noticing your parent was a bit upset about something and didn’t react towards you the best way they could. Sometimes feeling like things aren’t best at the moment but you know it’s all going to be alright.

Bad parts should never go as far as you feeling terrified of what your parent might do to you next. It should never be you crying in your room alone because of what your parent did and said to you. 

Bad parts should never go as far as you bending backwards to somehow try to deserve to be good enough and always failing, your effort never acknowledged, your permission to exist as you are never given to you.

Bad parts shouldn’t include violence, threats, slurs and heavy insults.They should never include ultimatums, your paths in life blocked, your desires sabotaged, your resources taken away, you being isolated and feeling like the entire world doesn’t care about you. It should never be as bad as you feeling like nobody in the world could possibly love you.

Bad parts should never go as far as you feeling despised, abandoned, worthless, like things would be better if you were dead.

Whenever you think there were good and bad parts of your parents, remember that when things are this bad, no good parts could ever justify it. Nothing could ever make up for this. And also remember, actual good people would never allow it to get that bad. And your parents were capable of never making it that bad either. There was always a possibility of only treating you good, and never hurting you so bad. If your parents didn’t go for that, they were no parents at all.

reminder that NOBODY MADE THEM ABUSE YOU, THEY DID IT THEMSELVES

There’s a special place in hell for abusers who shame their victims for crying their hearts out

You have to remind yourself “I did nothing to deserve any of that.” every once in a while to keep that guilt down and rage up.

how can someone feel so much and feel so empty at the same time?

Schrödinger's feeling

lying on the floor listening to music is by far the best self therapy

sorry, i can’t, i’m busy watching everything get worse

"Would you act like that with your friends/strangers?" says my mother whenever she wants to shame me for a reaction to something SHE did.

I don't know, but would you abuse your friends or strangers, mum? Would you manipulate random people on the street? Or are you too afraid of them seeing your true colours and what an awful person you are?

I’ll do anything to avoid having a thought

moms b like "your emotional pain causes ME emotional pain and that is what we will be focusing on today"

moms also b like "my mom traumatized me more than i traumatized u so clearly u should be thanking me"